Expats, You CAN Go Home

I came across an interesting article last week from the perspective of an 'expat' who wrote 4 Ways Living Abroad Changes You...Forever.  While the author generally advocates the benefits of travel, it was his perspective as an 'expat' that got me thinking.  Suddenly I realized that I, too, was an 'expat' while I lived in Australia.  And in spite of nodding my head in agreement to most of the article coupled with my recent move home, I found I  strongly disagreed with one of the author's key points.

According to Wikipedia, 'an expatriate (or expat for short) is a person temporarily or permanently living in a country other than of the person's upbringing'. So I guess the 12yrs that I spent living in Melbourne qualifies me!  Interestingly, until now I've never thought of myself that way, tending to think of expats more in terms of people from English, Western countries who live in non-English speaking places.  

But in the article, the author states: 'You can never go back home'.  As you may recall from my recent post, I have done just that.  After being away from Vancouver, the place where I was brought up, my family and I have just relocated here.  And what do I think of coming home?

Firstly, I had no expectations that things were going to be the same.  How could they be?  Although I have been back for a few months at a time over the the years, I'd been gone for 16yrs! I fully expected things to change, people to change, and relationships to change.  But the reality was, I still have my closest friends and family here and they have been great upon my return.  Yes, I am not entirely the same person that I was before I left due to my experiences, but then again, neither are they.  But in the end, deep down, we haven't changed and neither have our core values. 

 I had greatly underestimated how the values of a society can differ from one another and thus affect one's sense of belonging in the long run.

Secondly, for the first 8yrs or so while I lived in Australia, I still referred to 'home' as Vancouver.  But 4yrs ago or so, I had unconsciously started to regard Melbourne as 'home'.  So moving back was actually a bit difficult psychologically and now, I catch myself still referring to Melbourne that way!   While in some ways I feel caught somewhere in the middle, I have still experienced a sense of belonging here where I grew up that I never quite realised that I missed.  There is something to be said about being able to connect with people who share a similar upbringing as you.  When I first went abroad, I accepted being 'different' as a necessary part of travel whether it be on a short term basis like on holidays, or on an ongoing long term basis as an expat.  I know that I can adapt quite easily to my environment.   

But merely adapting doesn't erase that fact you don't really ever fit in entirely and at at first, that was ok.

Don't get me wrong, I never consciously felt like an outsider while living in Australia--at least not all the time.  But now upon my return to Canada, I finally realize that the feeling was always there and it's been a pleasant surprise to find that gone now.  I feel like people understand me more, and vice versa.  It's just more 'comfortable' being me! 

So I think the answer to the question whether you can go home again or not lies within yourself and your expectations.  It's much like when you re-visit a destination that you had previously loved.  Why are you going back?  Is it based expecting that you will find things are they were the last time you were there?  If so, there is a good chance that you will be disappointed as things change.  But if you approach the return wanting to find a good experience within the existing framework which you had previously experienced, then you might be successful.  

We've been here for 6 months now, and maybe we've just been one of the lucky ones.  It's still early days yet but so far, I think we have settled in nicely.  Returning home has made me realise that I am truly a Canadian at heart. And how does that saying go?  Home is where the heart is.  Yes, expats, you CAN go home (if you want).

So what do you think?  Have you thought about going home or have you done it?  Leave us a comment below!

 

One Year Home

Hard to believe that just over 2yrs ago, we were at the beginning of our year-long backpacking trip with our kids.  In some ways, it seems that it was a lifetime ago.  And now, it’s been over a year since we’ve been back to ‘normal life’.  While the past 13 months have been a bit of a blur, full of highs and lows, here's an update of where we're at:

Insurance: Necessary Evil or a Waste of Money?

Insurance—what are your feelings about it?  Necessary evil or a waste of money?  Do you have home or tenants insurance in case of fire or burglary?  And insurance on your car should it be in an accident or be stolen?  Do you purchase travel insurance, even for the ‘short’ trips? Will your family be taken care of financially in the event of your death? Will you be taken care of should you be diagnosed with a serious illness?  Apologies in advance for the topic of this post, but if you’ve been following our blog, you will know that it has not been an easy time for our family lately.  Far from being behind us, it has made us look at ourselves a bit closer and realise that shit happens.  The question is then how can we be best prepared to deal with it when it does?

Bad Things Can Happen To You On Home Turf Too

When we first told family and friends about our intentions to take our family on a 1yr backpacking trip across South East Asia, we were surprised by the negativity we received.  Some people even went so far as to say that we ‘were going to get the children killed’, especially by going to some of the developing countries on our itinerary.

In our day and age, on one hand the world is a ‘smaller place’ due to ease and accessibility of travel.  Yet on the other, the threat of terrorism and general fear of the unknown while traveling, particularly with a family, keep most people from chasing their dreams.  Other excuses such as waiting until the children get older or for more financial security also crop up.

But this past weekend, a day after returning home from our wonderful family holiday in Bali, we got some life-changing news:  my only sister was killed in a freak accident.  It happened in Canada, a ‘safe’ country, while going for a leisurely drive in the country with her family.

At 36 years of age, she has been taken from this world much too soon. 

But it gives me some peace to know she led a fulfilling life, full of zest and a sense of adventure --a life with no regrets, especially after the long awaited birth of her 2 boys.  She had a great education that led to a successful career, through which she met her future husband. They both loved to travel and even took a year off to visit places of their dreams such as Africa, South America, Europe, Egypt, India, SE Asia, China, and Australia.  Even after their first child was born, she and her husband made the 20ish hour journey to visit us in Australia, with child in tow. And after the recent birth of their second child, they travelled by air to San Diego for a holiday.  They were even on a short-getaway at the time of her death.  She didn’t do things by half-measures, and always did her best by all the people she knew and loved.  Above all, she loved her husband and children the most.

With Auntie in Melbourne, December 2010 just before we left on our trip.

All the cliché’s in life are true:  ‘Life is too short’; ‘Only the good die young’;  ‘Live life to the fullest’;  ‘You only live once’;  ‘The only thing to fear is fear itself’.

Try to not put off chasing your dreams, especially if it is to travel the world.  But most importantly make time for the people and the things that you love.  Don’t let fear of the unknown stop you-- bad things can happen to you anywhere, anytime.  As the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) put it, her accident was ‘an act of God’.  I know He will take care of her now; may she rest in peace.

With her precious family just a month prior to her death.